Comfort Not Equal To Style

This is a huge issue and one that I take very seriously. As I type this, I am sitting in class behind a very attractive, fratty-looking guy, but there is just one thing wrong. Sweatpants. I mean seriously, why does this happen? Why do people think it is acceptable to wear sweatpants during the day as if they were normal streetwear? When did this become okay?

I'm not going to pretend that I don't have a pair of sweatpants. Indeed, I do - I wear them when I'm working out and it's cold. I also have home pants - well, more like home shorts. These have the title "home pants" because of precisely the fact that you ONLY WEAR THEM AT HOME! Yes, I know they are comfortable, but that doesn't matter! You want comfort? Wear baggy jeans. These are by far more acceptable than sweatpants (as long as they're not carpenter jeans). Really, no one ever said that looking good was going to be comfortable, but it's something most people just need to accept. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices - a toe, joint movement, the ability to breathe.

I don't understand why people do this and it enrages me. This is New York City. There should be no public sweatpants wearing. Sweatpants are not flattering no matter what they have written across the butt or what color velour they are made from. Let's just all get serious and make a collective commitment to never let our sweatpants go outside again. I'm seriously thinking of starting a petition...

Self-Love Is Good

As I was sitting in a doctor's office yesterday, I started to read this article from New York Magazine about internet culture among young people. I was interested in it's discussion about how young people live their lives on the internet to the extent that there is essentially no privacy anymore. In addition to trying to understand why this phenomena is occurring, the author also discusses the generational gap in understanding the desire to document one's life for all to see. It is really funny how a lot of the "older generation" doesn't understand this desire. I'm not sure I agree with the author in her assertion that this hasn't been seen since the rock and roll era, but still, I agree that there are similarities.

I mean, why do most of us have this drive to live a large part of our lives online, documenting everything with blogs, pictures, videos and such? I think the myspace thing is really crazy. I must say that I've never really understood the appeal of "internet friends." I guess it's always been hard enough for me to make real friends and part of me feels like internet friends are kindof a cop out. I do, however, like using facebook and such sites to keep up with my friends even if I haven't talked to them in a long time. I am admittedly (and perhaps notoriously) bad at keeping in touch with people and I prefer to talk online and through text messages than actually on the phone, so I guess I am part of this online generation.

All this made me think about my own desire to blog. Where does it come from? I suppose it essentially boils down to blind narcissism since I'm sure I don't really have that many regular readers and I really am just doing this for those few who actually read and/or myself. However, in my mind, having a blog also lends my thoughts and opinions some sort of legitimacy. I've discussed with some people before how I have this desire to have pieces of my life documented in order to grant it legitimacy. I guess that blogging, in a way, is a shortcut to this. Instead of waiting around hoping that someone will document my life, I'm taking control and doing it myself.

I mean, I would really like to have a large readership of this blog, but for the moment, I'm content to just putting it out there into the world. I need to think some more about what the motivation is...this whole "New Journalism" and "Internet Generation" is really fascinating to me. Though, MySpace still really freaks me out.

The HGN

I've alway said that I don't have a certain type of guy that I'm attracted to. I usually go for guys who are bigger than me, older than me, et cetera (mainly things based on my many neuroses). However, in the past couple years or so I've begun to realize that I DO have a type. I love Hot Gay Nerds.

In the same time that it's taken me to realize that I actually do have a type, I've also realized that the Hot Gay Nerd (HGN) is extremely elusive and hard to find. I do not define the HGN simply as "a gay guy who wears glasses." My idea of the ideal HGN is basically a cross between Jim Halpert from The Office (the best tv sitcom ever...seriously) and Stephane from The Science of Sleep. Okay, so maybe this person, in my mind, is wearing thick-rimmed emo glasses...so sue me.

I don't use Jim Halpert purely because he is awesome...though, seriously, he is. I love Jim because he is resourceful, creative and amazingly clueless. I mean, seriously, how could he not see that Pam is totally into him now? Jim - I don't care if you are dating Karen now or not - go for it with Pam! I don't care whether you, dear reader, are Team Pam or Team Karen, everyone has got to agree on the awesomeness that is Jim. I am literally at a loss for words to describe his awesomeness. Really, when I think of him, I think of a dream I had where I had sex with Jim and he promptly never spoke to me again. Only the truly awesome seem to do that.

Second, Stephane from The Science of Sleep. To me, there are 2 things that are amazing about this guy. The first being that he constantly lives in his mind. At times, it is impossible for him to distinguish between his dreams and reality. In my mind, he is incredibly smart, but that seems to be at odds with his creative side, which creates a type of inferno of craziness crossed with narcissism. Can anything be sexier? Well, yes, because on top of all this, Stephane is totally awkward. I mean, seriously, he is incredibly socially inept and has no idea how to act with this chick that he is totally in love with. I love awkwardness - mainly because I am like the King of Awkward. Talk about socially inept. Look that up in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of me. Seriously, try it.

So, I guess this is a crazy, crazy post...seeing as it is 3:30 am and I am drunkenly rambling about the type of guys that I like. Similarly, I guess this is why I don't have much luck on dating websites and such. I mostly go on those sites in an exercise of self-masochism. If I had to choose one, I suppose the moral of this story is that if you have a HGN friend who fits my oddly-specific-yet-somewhat-general description, hook me up!

LAME!

So, yes, I'm really lame. I apologize to all of my 2, maybe 3, readers for not posting in like a long time. I don't think I should excuse myself by saying I've been really busy, school, work, blah blah blah. However, I will promise to be better about it.

Seeing as today New York has turned into an arctic tundra, I'm staying in tonight. This is the perfect night to lounge around in my sweatpants, go for a run, eat a steak and finish all the posts that I started a while ago. So, believe you me, some new stuff is coming your way. My narcissism hasn't been indulged nearly enough lately.

Salvation in Leather?

I read this great article on Slate (sent to me by my friend Jake) about the recent Fall 2007 Anne Klein show in New York. Yes, I know - "Anne Klein?" you're thinking, "Isn't that the basic wardrobe of midwestern secretaries with crispy hair and framed cat pictures on their desks?" Well, yes. However, this season marks the coming out of Isabel Toledo, who was recently appointed creative director and made a name for herself previously with her experimental, not-quite-wearable designs.

The Slate article touts Toledo as ushering in a new era of American sportswear. Their stance is that, while European designers have been showing fantastically creative collections in Paris and Milan, American designers have been lacking in creativity and not doing anything to update the sportswear that made American fashion big in the first place. Until now. And, surprise of surprises, the innovation is coming from Anne Klein .

The garment that embodies this newfound spirit of innovation is the hooded leather stadium coat shown above. It apparently is cut from a huge piece of leather - similar to the way they cut sails. How effing fabulous is that? I just have this picture in my head of little seamstresses in a wearhouse crawling all over this HUGE slab of leather cutting out pieces using complex geometric equations. I want to be buried in this coat. If I could only have one piece of clothing for the rest of my life, I think I would choose this coat (though it might get hot during the summer).

I'm not really sure what I want to say about all this besides the fact that this coat rocks. I'm really surprised that something of this caliber came from Anne Klein which, let's be honest, is just one step above Casual Corner. Even though I think it's safe to say that this coat won't be sold at your everyday Anne Klein store in your everyday suburban strip mall, it's still pretty cool. I would like to see mid-range retailers doing stuff like this. I seriously think that most American fashion has been lacking in creativity lately and this makes me feel a little hopeful.

I was also really surprised to learn about the hey day of Anne Klein. I had no idea that it was so trendy and cool back in the day. I mean, I guess it's not that big of a surprise to me - look at those frumpy Laura Ashley clothes that were HUGE way back when. I'm really glad that Anne Klein is trying to get back to that. I think everyone else should take a cue from them and stop settling for just commercial. I'm all for garments being able to sell, but clothing can be so much more fun! So, kudos to you, Anne Klein. I'm glad to see you moving away from sensible seperates and pleated pantsuits and trying something new!

Seriously. Stop It.

We're all angry with Ann Coulter for recently calling John Edwards a "faggot" at the Conservative Political Action Conference (video can be seen here). People all over the media have been up in arms at Coulter's brazen use of the homophobic slur, effectively giving her a monopoly over recent gay issues-related coverage. She has been painted in an increasingly unfavorable light (like that's anything new) but she's been all over the news nonetheless.

Now, I'm not defending Ann Coulter by any means. I agree with most of the stuff I've read about her recently, except for one thing: the actual coverage. Look, Ann Coulter is a notorious attention-grabber. She seems to be willing to do or say anything that will garner her media attention (which is why she usually sets the bar really low). We are doing exactly what she wanted us to do - write and rant and rave and link and talk about her constantly. The blogosphere as well as mainstream media has been blowing up with anti-Coulter articles. Isn't this just egging her on? She feeds off this attention and if we cut her off from it, wouldn't that be much more effective than talking and talking and talking? By writing about her and discussing her, we are granting her legitimacy, something that she definitely does not deserve. Her opinions and arguments are un-thought out and unresearched and explicitly meant to make us angry. If we do just the opposite of what she wants us to do, ignore her, I think that would be a much more effective course of action. Let's take a cue from how the Associated Press tried to deal with Paris Hilton: stop covering her!

Sexiness Squared

Can we get serious with this? I literally got all sweaty watching this new video from Beyonce and Shakira. I especially love how sometimes you can't tell who is who. That and how they both seem to have had all the bones in their bodies removed. Do your thang, girls!

I Could Buy and Sell You

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the idea of the model as commodity. It’s been rolling around in my head for a while and I guess it’s kind of an abstract concept to me that I’m trying to wrap my brain around. As someone who works in fashion, I guess a part of me understands that a model is rarely more than a human clothes hanger, but for some reason I see them as these unattainable ideals that I measure myself against.

It all started really when I watched the new VH1 show The Agency early this week. Thanks to the wonder that is Tivo, I was able to indulge my masochistic side and watch it repeatedly. In this week’s episode, there was a male model named Owen who the agents believed could be a superstar if he would only gain weight. Really, this dude was SKINNY. Like “I can see every ligament in your leg” skinny. Apparently, skinny dude are really great in Paris and Milan, but in America we just can’t swallow them as well – we like our guys with a little meat on their bones. First, this came as a huge surprise to me because I generally think of most male fashion models as really friggin’ skinny. Second, what the agents were saying to this guy seemed directly at odds with what they were telling the girls. I guess the moral of this episode was that women should not eat and men should.

Watching this episode made me SUPER angry! I mean, this dude is super hot and they’re telling him to GAIN weight? That’s not necessarily a bad thing if you’re underweight, but I was overcome with jealousy. I mean, I would be the happiest person in the whole world if someone told me that to be hot all I had to do was gain weight. Instead, I feel like I always need to lose like 30 pounds.

My therapist made a really good point in our session, though, and it started me thinking about this whole “commodity” thing. One thing that I had never noticed about that show, because I was fixating on the hotness of the models, was that the people judging the models are not hot. They are able to judge these models as commodities and their ability to sell clothes while not comparing themselves to them in the process. These people’s main concern is the marketability of the total package, not how these people compare to them. I, for some reason,
cannot make this distinction.


Later this week, I saw pictures of the Viktor & Rolf show in Paris. These crazy Dutchmen basically attached these huge metal apparatuses with lights and speakers to their models, effectively making them carry their own lighting and soundtrack with them down the runway. However, when I first saw the pictures, I thought the models were attached to huge clothing racks. To me, this was the perfect representation of this commodification idea I’ve been toying with. Seriously, what better way to highlight the fact that these people are basically clothes hangers than to make them look like they’re wearing clothes that are still hung up!

I think this idea is beginning to sink in. I mean, what are models anyway except people with exceptional genetics who are paid to be beautiful? Why do I feel such a need to live up to them? If models are just commodities, why don’t I feel this same need to live up to the newest iPod or car? Well, because, that would just be silly.

Criminal Chic

I read today on The Smoking Gun (by way of Best Week Ever) about these two teenage girls who they are calling "The Bug-Eyed Bandits." Apparently, they robbed a Bank of America branch in Georgia wearing only huge sunglasses to disguise themselves. Can anything get more fabulous? I guess it's hard to keep your coke habit while still paying the sorority dues when you spend all your father's money on Vera Bradley bags and pearls. On another note, has anyone seen my friend Peaches since this happened?

Desire #1

I know that this desire is in direct conflict with my overbearing (perhaps debilitating) urge to constantly look like I stepped out of a magazine spread and/or to be mistaken (or discovered) as a fabulously gorgeous model. However, my number one desire of late is to have a wonky eye...namely a wonky eye of the "lazy" variety. This would be especially cool if I could turn the lazy eye on and off at will. Imagine the fun you could have with eyes that look in two different directions! Spying and evesdropping would be so easy! Plus they look really crazy in an edgy, editorial way. Now thanks to the magic of the MacBook Pro's webcam, I can see what I would look like. Granted, the bulging lazy eye isn't as cute as the standard lazy eye, but still I dare to dream.

Diva-Off 2007

J-Hud and Beyonce throw down at the Oscars. The only thing that could have made it better is if Beyonce's weave had flown off in the middle of "Listen" and hit Jennifer in the face.

Open Letter to Mid to Low-Range Retailers

Dear H&M, et al,

I must express my frustration to you. As a loyal shopper at your stores for many years (who can resist the allure of moderately priced clothing?), I must let you know that my shopping experiences of late have become increasingly frustrating. Where is the creativity in menswear? Where is the risk, the playfulness, the fun? Menswear does not have to be boring button down shirts and suits in neutral tones. There are more patterns out there than stripes or plaids (I don't care how many varieties of stripes you throw at me...they're still stripes). No matter what you think, "relaxed," "original, and "classic" all just mean baggy!

Seriously, when did you start being such tricksters? You sneaky queens put all the cute, crazy womenswear in the windows and in the front of the stores to lure me in, hoping the menswear will be just as fun. When I walk in, I see color, patterns, even metallics! I see crazy accessories, boldness, variety and risk-taking. My heart sinks, though, when I finally wade through all the fabulousness to the mens section and see boring sweaters and neutral colors that just seem even worse by comparison to the delectable smorgasborg I saw in the front. I mean, honestly, stop making carpenter jeans! You tug at my heart strings each time this happens.

Don't you know that guys need variety too? I know you have to keep your midwestern frat boy and banker in mind when deciding on product, but still...can't we have a bit more to choose from? Colors are important (and there are more colors than blue. Seriously.) and let's see some embellishment. Screen printing graphics and witty sayings on t-shirts can only go so far.

So, in conclusion, I guess I'm just asking to make your menswear a bit more like your womenswear. I'm not saying to try to sell guys dresses, skirts and purses, but to take a few more risks with the garments. You seem to have so much more fun with the women...and I know they are fun to dress, but spread the love. The guys deserve it too!

Love, Your Faithful Clothes Whore,
G